Midterms= Procrastination at its finest

I am currently supposed to be studying for an american history midterm. Key word there is SUPPOSED. This means that I am not. I have gotten into a weird sleep funk. I am tired ALL THE TIME. I have lists upon lists of things I need to get done as soon as humanly possible, and all I can think about is just snuggling up in my bed and taking a cat nap. (yesterday's was 3 hours long) "Nobody got time for that!!!" As soon as I feel the slightest bit of stress, I give up and sleep. Coffee doesn't fix this. I've tried. Anyway, other than my random narcolepsy life has been good :) I went to see my hero up at huntsman and he poked my leg and drained a lot of gross fluid! Good news; It wasn't puss! Bad news; after it all drained and was normal for a few days, it came back. The first few tests determined that it isn't an infection but we are still waiting for some of the cultures from other tests. That is the least of my worries this week!
       Although I have 3 midterms this week my mind is elsewhere. On march 8th I am going on an alternative spring break trip! (its a service trip) With a group of students from the U (including two other kappas) we will be road tripping to HOLLYWOOD! Yes, you might think "sure service trip…" but it is! We are going to be volunteering for a few organizations in L.A. who support people living with HIV/AIDS. I am soooooooooo excited. My friends have been going on service trips since high school and I have always wanted to go on one. I have friends who went to Thailand, Tanzania, India etc. Finally I get to try giving back too. My friend Brooke once told me that the only time she feels true happiness is when she is doing service. She went to tanzania last summer and also volunteered and taught people how to prevent and avoid getting AIDS. I really look up to her. I am so beyond happy we are going on this spring break trip together. I hope she will show me how to give back with not only my actions but my whole being.
      So yeah.. I can't focus on midterms because my mind is just gonna explode with excitement about the trip. I mean, I have to try really hard to resist packing. The only reason I haven't already packed is because I can't find my suit case. Another thing I am keeping in mind is that California is warm weather. Which means no more hiding under big sweaters and boots and scarves. I have set some goals for myself as far as physical fitness and I am working really hard to meet these goals. I know that every time I tell someone that I am self conscious about my body they go off on a "NO! you are so beautiful the way that you are!" and "cata stop you don't even have to worry!" rant. So I usually keep  silent about my image. I don't want to be talked out of trying to make my body a better home for my soul. This doesn't mean I am trying to be skinny. I want to be healthy.
       Now that the weather is warmer people are going to start noticing my scars EVERYWHERE.  Every time I snap chat someone they ask me if the scar on my chest is a hickey… Nope!! My weekends get pretty wild sometimes, but not to the point of hickeys.. I remember a while ago I went to L.A. for my best friend sophia's graduation and I wanted to wear a dress. My mom was hesitant about it so she just flat out said that she was worried what other people would think and that I should be more covered up. I had a very heated argument with her because I honestly didn't care. My scars are proof of my story and each one tells a different part of my life. Who cares what others think! If they want to think that the stretch marks that cover my arms and torso are from being out of control obese then let them. It does't matter to me because I know how I got them. I got them fighting for my life. So I welcome summer. I look forward to shorts and dresses. I can't wait to wear tanks and bathing suits. I can't wait for spring! Birds, rain, and Daffodils.
Well I hope you can take something from this random rant that I call my thoughts. Have a beautiful day!!
Namasté lovers!

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