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Showing posts from February, 2017

God, where the fuck are you?

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No more than five minutes ago I posted a status on facebook about how I really want to go to burning man. As soon as I began to scroll again through my feed I saw a picture of a thin and frail boy bracing himself on the bathroom sink. He stood there in nothing but a pull up. His hair was gone and on his face he showed defeat. Seeing this photo immediately threw me into a deep flashback of myself...
      I was sitting on the edge of the bathtub fully naked and bald. My eyebrows and eyelashes were gone. My cheekbones sharply stuck out of my face. My eyes seemed to have sunk into my skull. The only thing covering my bones was skin. I could see every detail of my spine.  As I sat there waiting for my parents to lower me into the tub I watched myself in the bathroom mirror that covered the entire wall above the sink. I made eye contact with myself and my chin quivered as I choked back tears. In that moment that was my reality. In that moment I was not taking things day by day, but rather,…