If I had to describe my life in one word at this moment, it would be BUSY. I feel like busy is such a bittersweet word. It's bitter in the sense that I have no time for myself. I don't have time to stop and notice my surroundings. I don't even have a second to pause and feel what my mind and body is feeling in that place and time. I am constantly sorting through thoughts. At the same time Busy is sweet. Busy is sweet because it means that I am out of the hospital. Busy is sweet because it means that my dream came true. Busy is sweet because it means that I made it through. I don't remember a whole lot but, everything that I do remember is crystal clear and engraved in the tissue of my brain. Something that I remember vividly is spending hours sitting by my window looking out over the University of Utah campus. All I ever imagined myself doing was walking around that campus, going from class to class. I would picture myself sitting under one of the tall trees, while I would study for a psychology class. That is all I wanted. My friends would come visit me and complain about finals or their work load and I remember thinking how I would give ANYTHING to just be stressing about a test, and not about if I would live to see the next day. So as I was saying, busy is sweet. I am finally living my dream. Not only is school going really well but I am part of an amazing organization. I have found a home away from home at the University of Utah chapter of Kappa Kappa Gamma. Even though I already have the most AMAZING sisters, I now have a hundred other sisters who I can call family. I am sure this is not news to you all because if you are friends with me on Facebook then you already know how obsessed I am with my sorority life. I am currently the corresponding secretary of my chapter and even though I feel that I have an overload of items on my plate I am so honored to be a part of making a difference for the current active members and all the women to come. I am slowly but surely discovering what I am on this earth for. I have come to realize that life cannot be taken too seriously. We are all guilty for taking things way to seriously. Just because we are alive doesn't mean we are living. I would like to make a suggestion to you all. In hopes that we can all realize that the little things are what make life colorful. Get a paper and a pencil. Hold that pencil in your hand and close your eyes. With your eyes closed touch the tip of your pencil to the paper. Take a second to feel the energy going through your fingers onto the pencil, through the tip and on the page. When you are ready write down the first thing that comes to mind when you ask yourself what you are grateful for in this moment. It can be anything! If you feel that that satisfies you for the day then you can be done. If you wish to continue, I encourage you to keep writing things down. Some days I write one thing down, and others I come up with pages. if you really like this you can get a small journal to dedicate your grateful words. Every now and then when I am not feeling so grateful I like to look back at what I have been grateful for in the past. So before this post turns into a book I will close with my gratitude for the day.
I am grateful for the company of my roommates.
I am grateful for the feeling of being cold, so that I can enjoy feeling of warmth.
I am grateful for my family.
I am grateful for the past.
I am grateful for the present.
I am grateful for kappa.
I am grateful for rosy cheeks.
I am grateful for dance parties in my kitchen with my roommates.
I am grateful for love.
I am grateful for the word busy.
love and light to you all,
Cata
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