It's Time

So it's 12:33am, of course I need to write right now..
Something about the night just brings me to life. I could sleep all day but once I watch that sunset I wake up. In other words I'm nocturnal. I just finished watching 5+ episodes of sex and the city with my neighbor, co-worker, and newest amazing friend, Evangeline (rhymes with wine). Since she lives in the apartment below me, we work together, we share the same love for giant bottles of wine, and could live off of pizza, it was inevitable that we would become fast friends.

I am so thankful for where I am in my life today. Sometimes I can't even believe this is my life! I have job that makes me happy, friends who I adore, and my health is finally in a stable place. Yes I still have my disabilities but there are worse things and I have managed to accept them into my life rather than hate myself for them. Somehow in this very moment I feel untouchable. There is nothing standing in my way!! No doctors appointments no pain (other than the chronic pain I live with daily), no casts or nausea. I have no obligation to do anything I don't want to. Finding myself in this place of my life I feel like I deserve to step out of my comfort zone. I thrive in my comfort zone. However it's time for a change.

Now, what I am about to tell you all is not set in stone yet because I still have a lot of planning to do and I have to work out the logistics. But if I can secure a job for myself before I go then I am hoping that at the end of the summer I will be moving to Portland. So please for my sake knock on all the wood you can find and pray that I didn't just jinx the entire thing.

The plan would be to move up to portland in August and I would move in with my beautiful friend Lucy and her pup Cody Joe. This is all sooooo new to me. I haven't dreamt this big since before I got sick. I always wanted to graduate high school and go to college in the northwest but obviously I had a few obstacles. I am still getting used to the idea myself but I am so excited. When I went to visit Lucy in February I fell in love with Portland. I went nuts over all the moss and being surrounded by water. Something about it was just so magical to me and I knew I wanted to be a part of it. Part of me is thinking "why fix what isn't broken?" (a.k.a my amazing life right now) I just feel like if ever there was a time to do something new and exciting it's now. I feel that I deserve this.
It kind of feels too good to be true but that's sort of how my whole life feels all the time.

I  guess this brings me back to Evangeline. Knowing that I am choosing to leave means leaving my friends and the entire support system I have here in Utah. I would be leaving behind everyone from my doctors and physical therapist to my co-workers, friends and beautiful family. It's super scary.
No matter what happens with this I just want to thank everyone in my life for making it worth living. And if for some reason Portland doesn't work out, I know that I am still the luckiest and my life here is amazing.

muah,
cata


p.s. If y'all have any pointers for moving or words of wisdom I would super appreciate that! love you guys.






Lucy <3




Comments

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