One step forward, two steps back but always in the now
"Some days, 24 hours is too much to stay put in, so I take the day hour by hour, moment by moment. I break the task, the challenge, the fear into small, bite-size pieces. I can handle a piece of fear, depression, anger, pain, sadness, loneliness, illness. I actually put my hands up to my face, one next to each eye, like blinders on a horse."
It is bittersweet to forget to write. Bitter because you are at the risk of forgetting special details of your stories. Sweet because you can see how far you have come since the last time you wrote. I never manage to remember everything I wanted to write about. Everything I skip i end up putting an old shoe box of mine where i hold my deepest thoughts and fondest memories. This shoe box has my favorite images plastered on it, inside and out. It plays the songs that have so many times brought me to tears. This box sparkles with glitter that holds all the laughs I ever laughed and holds the laughs of those who laugh with me. So when you sprinkle that glitter over over you, butterflies fill your heart and make every organ in your body stretch with a wide smile. It is rare for me to show people my box of life. I find it hard to trust people with the things I hold in my heart to make my life worth living. There have been times where I shared with the wrong people and had little pieces of my life stolen. But wether I share these valuables or not i will vow to keep collecting them. I will save them for the ones who are capable of seeing me without their eyes, but instead with their souls, energy and auras. When I am drowning in hurt and pain this box is my only anchor.
(if you didn't pick up on it, this is a metaphoric box)