Rise Above It And Do All Things With Love
I find myself smiling a lot these days. I have come to a very serious realization. I have finally realized that we make our own happiness. I was searching high and low for my happiness and peace but I was looking in all the wrong places. I looked for happiness in my family. I looked for happiness in a boyfriend. I looked for happiness in money. And above all I looked for happiness in my friends. I have learned that looking for happiness anywhere other than within yourself is only going to disappoint you. Slowly the events and people in my life have taught me this. I know having all of the above things are definitely contributors to being happy but in no way, shape, or form are they the only ingredients to happiness. I am telling you all this to save you a lifetime of searching and wondering!! Don't take these words lightly, IT IS THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON I HAVE EVER LEARNED. I have often believed that finding joy and happiness was just situational. Oh he's happy because he's rich. Or she's happy because she is in a relationship. Or they are happy because they are lucky. I really am so lucky to have found this out at such a young age! I can't imagine finding this out on my death bed! That would really piss me off!! Now I think of all those times that I placed my happiness in others' hands and it makes me cringe. How dare I let someone else control my feelings. How dare I let someone else ruin certain things that I loved. I have stopped listening to certain songs because they remind me of certain people, or have stopped going certain places because it may have been somewhere that I was once hurt. I have even began to dislike certain people because I placed all of my trust into one person and let them decide who I liked and didn't like. Now that I put this all down in front of me it's actually quite embarrassing. Just because my Ex loved Drake and he broke my heart I stopped listening to drake. Just because my friend hates my sorority i started to question my love for kappa. I even began to hate thanksgiving because no one respected the fact that I am vegetarian. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday! How did I ever let it get this far. I really hope that this post will help you all take a moment and reflect a bit on how you are all living your lives. Are you letting other people control your happiness? Are you hating certain things only because the people around you do? I really hope you aren't! Life is too short for all that bullshit. Life is too precious to waste all that energy searching for something that you just have to find within yourself. I am tired of placing blame on something/someone else for my anger and pain and hate. Cancer didn't slowly ruin my life. I did. I'm not saying it didn't suck, I'm saying that I let myself be beat down and drained. I let myself pity myself. It could however be a lot worse. BUT I WON'T LET IT ANYMORE! This has been the most liberating rant I have ever written! Seriously, though it may sound cliche, go out and seize the freaking day. The sun is shining, your heart is pure and your soul just wants to be fed love and light. Go ahead and walk that extra step with that extra spring in it. Embrace every second of every day and by all means DO NOT loose sight of who you are and what you want. I have so much love for each and every person in my life, and I especially have love for myself.