First Day Of Rain

I woke up this morning knowing that I absolutely HAD to update you all on my life here in Portland. Especially since my last post was pretty heavy and negative. I was seeing everything through "eclipse colored glasses". Let me start off by saying that I am 100% happy right now. I woke up today smiling with every part of my body. My mouth was smiling, my eyes were smiling, my heart was smiling, even my little toe was feeling the smile. My alarm may have gone off this morning but what really woke me up was energetic jumps and kisses from Cody Joe. What an amazing way to wake up! Now I understand all my dog people. When I would wake up to my kitties all I wanted to do was snuggle up next to them and sleep the rest of the day. Nothing like pupper kisses to start your day off right! I have been reflecting on my life a lot lately. You can ask Lucy, she gets to witness my weird pauses where I stop in a random place in my apartment and zone out for five minutes at a time. The truth is that I have to stop what I'm doing every now and then just to consciously realize that this is not a dream. This is my actual life. I actually live in Portland now. I actually live with one of my best friends. And the hardest thing for me to accept is that I am almost completely independent. I forget sometimes how much I have overcome. Life really is good.
Now for my main reason for my previous stress. My job. It's almost as if as soon as I mentioned how much I didn't like my new workplace, it became amazing. Like I said before, I was not happy with the new EWC. I had even started to look for other jobs. I would vent to my girls back home about how different everything was. ANYWAY! The good news is that that work has done a complete 180 and things are great. No more panic attacks, my boss is awesome and I have a lot of new friends.
As most of you know Oregon, along with a lot of the North West, has been in flames. The smoke has been so horrible and when you're outside it smells like campfire. I left work on Saturday and It almost felt like there was a low foggy haze. I even had some ash on my car. Yesterday was the first day of rain that I have experienced since I moved here. Rain is so powerful to me. It's a fresh start. Rain washes away the past and cleanses our senses for a new beginning. With the rain I can only imagine that it is helping calm some of the fires. It definitely got rid of the smoke! I absolutely love the rain but I feel like at some point I might get tired of it and that worries me. I don't ever want to be tired of the way rain makes me feel. It's Monday and it's raining, all I can think about is that song by the Shiny Toy Guns, 'Rainy Monday.' I'm pretty sure that song is going to be stuck in my head for the rest of the beginning that I live in Portland.
This morning I went to Physical Therapy for my intake appointment. I have been dreading it ever since before I moved. I really hate changing doctors or therapists because I feel like no one is going to understand my body as well as Dr. Jones and Dani do. I have to say though I was pleasantly surprised with this new place. I felt heard and they measured all of my joints and their range of motion. My PT was very helpful and kind. He took his time and was patient with all of the details about my very complicated body. Anyway, I am happy that I am finally getting the help that I need here in PDX. I am planting many new little seeds here and slowly but surely I will have some strong roots to ground me. I am so thankful for this life and what it has to offer. I'm tired of focusing on my suffering and I am excited to thrive. Thank you to everyone who constantly helps me make my dreams a reality. Thank you Lucy for putting up with me and sharing cody. Thank you Carol for making work so enjoyable. Thank you Caitlin for being much more exiting and adventurous work wife. Thanks Jo and Fran for grounding me when I need sister time. And thanks to my parents for supporting me through everything. You all are the reason I get to do what I love and make it through life with all of my physical and emotional limitations.
If you have a chance to just pause what you're doing and reflect on your own life for a couple minutes. Do it. Pull yourself in and think about what you can do to thrive. You won't regret it.










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