A Day In The Life Of A Cancer Surviving Millennial

A week ago my surgery date was the end of May. Two days ago it was on the 4th of May. This morning it became, tomorrow. As if time doesn't travel fast enough, my surgery date was running toward time as well. Tomorrow is the day. Tomorrow at 1:00pm I will be wearing nothing but a hospital gown, I will be in a pre-op room taking out my jewelry. One ring at a time. I will be putting on those really uncomfortable socks that have the grippy things on them. Nurses and doctors will be coming in and out asking me questions, drawing blood, and drawing on my leg with a purple pen to make sure they operate on the right leg. The IV will start dripping liquid through my veins, first just saline, then it will be the "I don't give a f***" drug. The room will get really bright. Peoples voices will echo and everything I say will be said with a smile. My parents will entertain me by the traditional blowing up a glove trick and even though they make me laugh I will notice the fear beh...

My surgery date has been set for May 1st.  There has been a sleight change in the plan. I have chosen to go ahead and try the reconstructive surgery . This will involve taking out all of the infected bone along with my knee implant and start from scratch. After surgery I will be in a cast for 3 months. This means I will not be able to return to school in the fall. I don't mind that. I don't even know for sure what I want to do with my life so why spend time and money doing nothing? Things will be rough for a little while but knowing I have my amazing support system I know I can do anything. I have so much to write about but so little time before finals. So I just wanted to update you all. I am so grateful for all your donations and messages. Thank you for your love.  -Catalina 

I haven't found the will to write a lot lately. I just feel like anything I say will be laced with fear and anxiety. I don't think It is necessary to put out negative words in the universe. What good will it do if I explain to you all how much pain, confusion and suffering I am dealing with?? I know there is nothing that can be done and by saying it out loud it just makes the situation more real. I am trying very hard to stay positive. I am struggling to keep my head above water but sometimes I feel myself slowly sinking further under. I cannot explain the amount of support I have been getting everywhere I go. The first place I go to seek comfort is to my kappa sisters. Somehow they know just what to do and say to make me feel loved and not alone. Whether it's Kelsey who comes and serenades me with songs from her ukelele, or Kinsey scratching my back during chapter, or Brooke  asking if I need anything from the kitchen when she goes down, or B-Pypes texting me 24/7 getting...